About a month ago I received an email from Kris Carr (if you have not heard of her, you should look her up. Her story is amazing and her outlook on life is inspirational.). In the email she shared this story that a Jazz musician told her years ago. When I read this story, I instantly felt connected to it, as it described the process of working through struggles in life, and for me in particular, my fertility journey.
Here is the musician's story copied word for word from Kris's email:
“Back in Mississippi, on my pappy's farm, there was a deep hole behind the barn. Pappy was fixing to put in a new well come spring, but for years the seasons came and went with no sign of a well. ”
"One day us grandkids noticed that pappy's favorite goat was missing. Well, we practically tore the place apart looking for the darn thing, until we just gave out. 'Must of been snatched up by a coyote,' Pappy said. Little did we know that the darn goat had fallen into the deep hole. At the same time, after listening to my granny's complaints about the dangers of small children tearing around near the hole, my pappy reluctantly agreed to fill it.”
"The next day old man Spencer came over with his John Deere backhoe and proceeded to dump mounds of dirt down the hole and onto the head of Pappy's goat. When the dirt landed, Pappy's goat would shake it off and stamp it down. The more dirt that fell on that creature, the more he would shake it off and stamp it down until finally he shook it off, stamped it down, and rose right out of that hole!"
Now do you think for one minute that the goat said things like: "I'm not good enough to rise, I'm too tired to rise, I'm too fat to rise, I'm too busy to rise?" Or things like, "I'm not smart enough or qualified enough to rise? Or I'll rise tomorrow." Heck no. He probably said, "Holy sh$t, there's dirt on my head! Looks like there's only one way out and that's up." And guess what? I bet it wasn't easy. No way. And I bet he had to summon all his strength and grit. Just like we all do from time to time. That's life. It's not always simple self-care breezy. We are strong and we struggle, there is dark and light, growth and setbacks.
But, no matter what, we always have the potential to rise.
Rise out of our slump. Rise out of our bed. Rise out of our negative thoughts. Rise out of our comfort zone. Rise out of our complaints. Rise out of the fast food drive-thru. Rise out of our wine glass. Get up and rise. Just like Ronny. Just like that resilient goat—we can rise.
Rising is a choice that's one powerful thought away.
When we think of all those around us getting pregnant without struggle, all the doctor's appointments, uncomfortable tests, negative results, thousands of dollars spent, and tears cried, it can feel like mounds of dirt being dumped on us. There are times when it feels like too much and our negative talk or self defeating beliefs kick into full gear. There are times that we want a baby so bad, but our partners say its not worth it after all the emotional ups and downs, all the fights, and at the cost of feeling tension in our relationship. Trying to have a baby when its not happening the way we imagined, can be overwhelming and disheartening.
As the story portrays, or at least what I like to get out of it, is that things may get hard and messy, we may need to take breaks to catch our breath, but if we keep stomping our feet by staying true to ourselves, adapting when needed and being clear on our vision, we will always rise.
Now, this rising may lead to having a child without intervention, it may be having a child through medical help, it may mean adopting, or it may just mean deciding that not having a child is what is best for you and your partner. Either way, you have come out on top through your own process and not just getting burried by what the stats say or your test results. Science can tell us a lot, but it can never tells us everything because it cannot measure the magic of love or the power of intention.
Today, tomorrow, this year, create your vision and make it become reality regardless of who tells you it is impossible. Don't let the backhoe operator control your destiny. They can dump the dirt to knock you down, but they cannot stop the power and effect of your determination. STOMP YOUR FEET and never stop until you say its time!
Lots of love
Kate teaches a variety of styles from Traditional Hatha and Yin to Specialty Therapeutic classes in fertility, pregnancy and postnatal. She is certified at a RYT-500 and currently is working on completing her Yoga Therapy certification.